Most likely, you are looking at the title of this post and prepared to dismiss it as homophobic, whatever that currently means. I get that and I’m used to it. I’m a white heterosexual male so I’m used to being called a racist, a bigot, a misogynist, an anti-Semite, an Islamophobe, an extremist, a homophobe, a sexist, a cis-genderist and every other epithet. That’s right. We honky dudes have been accused of discriminating against everyone, so as a straight white male, I’m used to it. Despite the fact we created civilization, everyone dumps on us these days. That’s gratitude for ya.

Just to get it out of the way, I’m mildly intolerant of homosexuals. Specifically, I think female homosexuality is ridiculous and I think male homosexuality is disgusting. As a point of comparison, I think lima beans are disgusting, but I’m not out at night waging war on legume farmers. What you people do in private may revolt me, but as long as you do it in private and don’t hurt anyone, it’s none of my business. It’s a big world and there is plenty of room for all kinds as long as we make reasonable efforts to respect each other’s point of view. It’s not that hard to be polite.

That’s the problem, of course. For the last few decades, you guys in the Alphabet Soup Community (LGBTQQIP2SAA? Really?) have not been holding up your end of the bargain. Instead of respecting the sensibilities of the majority, you have gone out of your way to offend normal Americans, particularly those of us in the honky community. Turning a St. Patrick’s Day parade into a gay St. Patrick’s Day parade may seem like a hoot to you guys, but it really does piss off the rest of us. You surely know it, but you do this stuff anyway, suggesting the point of it all is to piss of the squares, more than anything else.

Even so, what happened down in Orlando was a terrible thing. As an American, I hate that my government is importing these people into our country. This is both predictable and preventable, but here we are anyway. I’m now seeing news stories reporting that you guys are rethinking your alliance with the Left, particularly when it comes to immigration and guns. Listening to Milo Yiannopoulos, I’m getting the sense that gays may be ready to change teams, so to speak. Having figured out that you have been nothing more than pets to the Left, you are going to join the other team, at least for this election.

That’s a good idea, as the Left is going to keep importing Muslims until the Left is dethroned and purged from society. The Official Right is not much better, but they are a bunch of feckless wussies so no one cares what they think. The Left is the butch side of the ruling class and they love Muslims. The census says we have 3.3 million Muslims as of 2010, so that means the number is probably closer to 5 million now. At a rate of half a million per year, the goal according to Paul Ryan, Muslims will outnumber homosexuals by the end of the decade or thereabouts. Either this changes now or you guys better learn to fly.

Here’s the reason for my note. I’m getting the sense that we in the straight white guy community are supposed to celebrate this change of heart by America’s homosexuals. Gavin McInnes was just out creating a big scene, making out with Milo Yiannopoulos for some reason. Gavin is just a hang around on the alt-right, but he often claims to speak for white guys in the generality. I see some familiar faces embracing the change on twitter so there’s some effort, at least, to figure out how to welcome the gays into the army opposing the Left. No enemies on the Right and all that.

That sounds nice, but I’m not sold. I know more than a few Muslims and they may be crazy, but it’s a crazy I can deal with as a white guy. We white guys are not going to have to worry about the kids seeing guys in assless chaps down at the Ramadan parade. Not having screeching harpies call us sexist because we refuse to pretend biology is a social construct sounds pretty attractive. To be honest, the thought of Muslims pitching the faculty of the Womyn’s Studies department off the roof is not so bad. Yeah, that makes me a bad guy, but I’m used to it. It’s been a long war.

That’s not to say I’m not amenable to welcoming the gays into the revolution. It’s just you guys have to bring more to the party than a fashion sense. The Christian bakers would like a little breathing room. The Boy Scouts would like to be left alone. The guys at the office would like to tell a salty joke without fear of being fired, or worse, being sent off to a reeducation camp. In other words, if you want help with Mohamed, you’re going to have to give some stuff back to us. Otherwise, I think I speak for most straight white guys in saying we’ll roll the dice with Mohamed.

Don’t get me wrong. I’d really rather not have to convert to Islam. I look like shit with a neck beard and I can’t ululate worth a damn. Giving up bacon and beer would really suck, but the Muslims are not wrong about everything. I’m not saying you have to go back in the closet or put up with cops busting up your clubs. Just meet us half way. Show some respect for the majority, leave the Christian bakers in peace and respect the fact that not everyone enjoys seeing a man walking down the street in a gold lamé thong. Maybe stop making us pretend you’re married.

Anyway, if you made it this far, think about it. Keep in mind that about 500 Muslims were imported since Orlando so don’t take too long.

Toodles,

Z